What Can I Say?

It's difficult to know how to respond or what to think or feel when something like the Sandy Hook shooting takes place. It felt like Sept. 11 again, except then, all I could think was, "Where is God?" Then, I did not have children to whom I must somehow explain evil that I myself could not understand.

Last Friday was different. I knew where God was. He was in that school, in the courage of the principal and her staff. He was in the words "I love you," from a terrified young teacher who wanted her students' last moments on earth to be about love, not terror. He was in the hearts of the first responders, manifested as bravery and compassion. He was there welcoming 20 precious children, one by one, into His waiting arms. He is, even now, at the hospital, in the hands of doctors and nurses caring for the wounded. He is in the churches, offering comfort to anyone who will come. He is in the homes of grieving families, His Holy Spirit upon them as the Comforter, crying out on their behalf to the Father, even when they have no words. He is in every mother's heart, including mine, saying "Come to me, and teach your children to come to me. I love you so much, and this is not what I want for your lives."

The only words I had for my daughter? I told her that, above all, we must cling to our relationship with Jesus. It's all we have. No one can take it away from us, not even Satan. And beyond that, we must share Him with others. Why? Because He is our only hope in a sick and broken world. Where else can we go?

Jesus told us plainly that we would suffer in this world, but He promised never to leave us. He also said He has overcome the world. Satan won a battle on Friday - for a young man's soul as well as for those who will now turn away from God in their grief and dismay - but the enemy cannot win the war. Evil will never trump Love. It can't. Christ ensured that with his own blood.

What would the world be like if Christ had not come into it as a baby so many years ago? It would be a string of December fourteenths...death, destruction and pain would be our only experience on this earth. God rescued us from such condemnation.

Thank God.

On Friday night, my daughter and I joined a bunch of kids from her neighborhood Bible study in Christmas caroling. One precious neighbor, recently widowed, stood at her front door with a cell phone held up to capture the kids' voices for her friend, living in a nursing home in another state.
It was a small, simple gesture, but God was there, too. We took back December 14, and we defiantly celebrated the birth of Jesus, our Rescuer. Love cannot be stopped.

How are you talking to your children about this?

Please remember the families of Newtown in your prayers daily. Let us be His hands and feet in their lives and in the lives of the people around us who suffer. Talk to someone about his or her spiritual walk, especially the children He has placed in your life.

Adding to my Bucket List

http://www.pinecove.com/retreats/

Family camp sounds glorious. Why should the kids have all the fun?

For Love or Money

The lady behind the counter knows us by name. She knows my husband's name and asks after our kids. In our brief, ordinary interaction, she tells stories of her life... the story of a wayward daughter who is constantly fighting with her and publicly unkind to her on Facebook. Mom says she knows they could be closer now if only she'd been a "different" kind of mother.

But she knows how to turn her daughter around...just ask her what she wants for Christmas.

To hear this precious mother's description of how her daughter's eyes "lit up" at the prospect of getting the new big screen TV she desired (all is forgiven, Mom!) was painful. Especially after she'd also shared how she was scraping her pennies together to buy her other kids school supplies and a single new pair of jeans.

I saw a commercial today. It depicted a mother congratulating herself for being the best mom in the world and making her teenage son oh-so-happy. Why? Because she bought him the "right" pair of shoes.

It's heartbreaking that we are still, even in these times of tough economic lessons, chasing material things in an attempt to make our kids happy. To make us, in turn, feel loved and respected as their parent. Paul -- Paul McCartney that is -- knew it, at least he did when he wrote this song. (Sounds like he may have forgotten the lesson later in life. :-))

The only love, the only worth that is lasting -- is the worth found in Christ. How empty and misleading it is for us to teach our kids to find their worth anyplace else. The things we buy for them are meaningless, fleeting and give them (and us) a distorted and grotesque picture of true love. They deserve so much better, and so do we as their moms.

The "other" Paul said it wonderfully in Romans 8. :-)

Who then can ever keep Christ's love from us? When we have trouble or calamity, when we are hunted down or destroyed, is it becaus he doesn't love us anymore? And if we are hungry, or penniless, or in danger, or threatened with death, has God deserted us? No, for the Scriptures tell us that for his sake we must be ready to face death at every moment of he day -- we are like sheep awaiting slaughter; but despite all this, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who LOVED US ENOUGH TO DIE FOR US. Nothing can ever separate us from his love.

Do you ever feel inadequate because you cannot buy your child the "thing," the lessons, the fabulous vacation that you see your neighbors buying for their kids? Did your parents communicate love to you this way?

Your comments are always welcome.

Water, please

There is no doubt that some times are "desert times." You hate to admit it, but you start really being able to relate to those Jewish guys wandering aimlessly for 40 years. Wasn't the Promised Land just over that next hill and yet God knew they weren't yet ready to go there. They still had a lot of refinement to go through. Sometimes I read that story and get so impatient with the Jews... I think, geez guys get it together! The God of the Universe just delivered you from Hell on Earth with a series of perfectly formed supernatual miracles, and all you can do is whine? Other times, I feel for them. There is nothing worse than feeling aimless and lost, never knowing what's next or why, facing obstacles at every turn, knowing the Promised Land has to be just over there.

I would whine, too.

It happens so quickly, that trip out to the desert. You're just going along, minding your own business, and here comes a sandstorm. It feels wrong and piteous to whine, because you know how blessed you actually are, but whining just comes. Restless, aimless, discouraged and disappointed. I know my children go through it and so do I. Some days, it's not so easy to just dust yourself off and go forward with a smile on your face. It -- life -- just gets to you. But when you have kids, you can't hang around in the desert for long (like you'd want to!). You have to get with the program or they start asking you, "Mama, are you mad at me?" Now there's a real desert moment.

We talked about bad thoughts recently and how sometimes bad thoughts are just the devil whispering lies in your ear. So wisely, Little Sister observed: "But you don't have to listen."

Amen.

What do you do when you're in a desert time?

Your comments are always welcome and appreciated.

Childlike faith

Take a moment to read this wonderful blog post by Andrew Huang, who recently visited Kenya and returned with a new outlook on what it means to possess childlike faith.

http://mtbethel.org/children-in-kenya-childlike-faith/

Do you know someone with childlike faith? How can we instill in our children (and in ourselves!) Andrew's three ingredients of such a faith?

Let the Children Lead

I heard another great "kids-leading-parents" example at church on Sunday. We watched a video testimony from a young guy in another country. He was raised in the faith of his culture, but he attended Vacation Bible School as a child -- he liked the stories and the snacks. :-) Competitive academically with the other kids, he memorized more than 100 Bible verses, but promptly forgot them as soon as VBS was over. Years later, he seriously injured his hand at a most inopportune time - he was about to take a weeklong battery of important, life-altering examinations. His mother sent a prayer request to a group of local Christians, asking them to pray that God would allow him to take his exams. From out of the blue, the young man's mind produced a long-forgotten verse: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. On the day of exams, he and his mother stood before the gates of the testing place and noticed what looked like a cross. They asked Christ to give him strength and allow him to finish his exams, which he did, pain-free. Soon after, the young man accepted Christ into his life. He said he was the only believer in his family for a long time and suffered persecution for his decision. However, in time, his entire family came to Christ. He pleaded with us to continue our commitment to his country's VBS programs, which had planted a seed of faith in him that blossomed ino a life of following Christ.

As a person who recently finished a week of leading 4-year-olds at VBS and lived to tell about it, I love the encouragement this guy provided me. No matter how small your contribution feels, no matter how little you may think they absorbed of Christ's message... you just never know what God's going to do with that little seed of faith you helped plant. It's kind of cool to think we could have been part of someone's story of faith last week!

Do you have a story about a child leading her family to the Gospel?

Tell me! Comments are always welcome and appreciated!

Quote of the Day

"It's only impossible if you think about it!"

The Pirate Captain
The Pirates! Band of Misfits.

Summer Sabbath

I love me some summer. The unscheduled, long light, barefoot, bathing suit days are gifts that I get to share with my kids. I must admit that I have not been intentional about their "God time," which I guess is OK. There are plenty of unintentional moments - like Small Sister playing "church" in her bedroom, preaching and teaching her flock of American Girls and stuffed animals. Pointing out what a great artist God is at a beach sunset...He always manages to throw in a couple of colors we've never seen before. Praying for family members and friends in need at night, when we have a little more time to meander and bedtime is a moving target. I love that they are spending time with older Christian girls in the neighborhood who are babysitting for us and swimming with them in the afternoons. Our mother-daughter Bible study will be joining with a middle and high school girls Bible study for a service project in July. I'm all over any opportunity for my girls to spend time with these awesome older girls, who are on fire for their faith.

One of my neighbors is doing a boys' Bible study at their house, they've titled Fishers of Men. They fish in a nearby pond, eat a big breakfast together and listen to a Bible story, which they retell in their own words and then discuss. Brilliantly simple.

Another family I've heard is leading Backyard Bible Study for friends at their elementary school. Different stations focus on a Bible verse or story with games, object lessons and rewards for memorizing verses.

And of course, there's Vacation Bible School going on all over town.

Some other ideas: keep a family gratitude journal or trade a faith/prayer journal among you. Take time to pray before trips or outings, playdates or a swim in the pool - give thanks for all the fun things you're getting to do and for the extra time you get to spend with them! If you can, consider volunteering. Maybe the kids will become interested in a cause that they can continue to work with during the school year. In my area, an example is MUST ministries, who solicits groups to make summer lunches for kids who may not have access to lunch when they're not in school. This is an easy way for kids to get involved, helping other children. It is especially important for Mom to continue to find a way to connect with the Holy Spirit in whatever way works best, since He will be THE source of our patience, wisdom and peace in these precious days, which can be trying, let's admit it. One of the benefits of kids sleeping in...I'm still waking up at 7:30 a.m., so I get at least an hour to have my coffee and spend time with the Lord.

Summer is designed to be a bit more laid back, less regimented and more "go with the flow." Use this time to continue to build your own faith and to lead your children in a way that creatively uses summer's unique character.

How do you make the most of your summer?

Comments are always welcome!

Renting our Faith

I was talking to a friend recently about a dream she had. I love to analyze my dreams, and I do believe the Lord can talk to us as we rest and our usual defenses are down. My friend's dream disturbed her because she dreamed that Jesus came back. He stood at the end of her street, bathed in a brilliant white light, and she felt the overwhelming urge to run into His arms. As she looked back at her house, she noticed her husband, who has not yet accepted Christ, standing on the driveway with arms crossed and a defiant look on his face. Heartbreakingly, her children seemed torn between who to follow - her or her husband.

As I considered this picture in the context of my own spiritual walk, I felt for her. It is a daunting and overwhelming responsibility to think of guiding our children in their walk, hoping and praying that the end result will be their own personal relationship with Jesus. Am I doing/saying all the right things? Is their Dad? Are we setting the best example for them? Are they getting mixed messages? Are we taking them to the "right" activities at church? Are we cultivating the "right" friends for them? I must admit: I don't feel up to it!! It's too hard, especially when my own faith is still a work in progress.

A new friend for whom I'm doing some writing said this to me recently: "Our children only rent our faith for a little while. At some point, they have to own it for themselves."

How true. And the great thing is, we don't have to sell God. He has every interest and desire to have a relationship with them that is totally outside of us, their parents. He is working in their lives, He is making Himself known to them, He is drawing our children to Himself with the tenderness, concern and unending love of Daddy. And He will do it all in spite of us, if He has to.

So, while we certainly have a very important role to play in their spiritual formation, what happens between them and God is between them and God. Knowing that we can trust Him with our children is the greatest comfort and relief we can have as parents!

Do you feel pressured to help your kids "find their faith?" How do you deal with it? Comments are always welcomed and appreciated.

Irreplaceable

I have a weird habit of reading entire books, standing up, in the bookstore. Actually, it's just a cheap habit because I'm on a mommy budget these days, although it's nearly impossible for me to leave a bookstore without something new, shiny and wordy in a bag. Anyway, I was standing up in a favorite bookstore on Mother's Day, reading this book and killing time until Mirror, Mirror started in the theater next door. 

It didn't contain anything earth-shattering - the main message was that you can still be highly successful in business without sacrificing your family and your faith. But I really liked the perspective of one CEO-type who said something along the lines of this: In the world, no matter how successful you are, no matter how important your job is, no matter how much you volunteer at church...you are replaceable. Someone can and will come up behind you and do what you're doing just as well, or even better. However, with the children you are privileged to parent...you are irreplaceable. No one else can be Dad (or Mom) to them the way you can. You cannot outsource your presence in their lives.

Comforting and daunting all at the same time, right? Daunting because it really makes you want to step up your game...No one else?  Comforting because no matter how God brought you together, how flawed you are, how many mistakes you've made, how you've failed in the past...God did bring you together. No one else. Perhaps He's made you for such a time as this (Esther 4:14).

How does being "chosen" to be your children's mom play out in your life? Do you feel chosen or do you feel like anyone could do "Mom" for them?

Comments are always welcome!

We'll All Be Princesses

My little Kingdom Watchers have been on a tear recently.

Little Sister refused to say her prayers one night. She LOVES to pray, and she always includes everyone we know, "the good people, the bad people and the whole world, the trees and the sky. And the flowers." But tonight she was really put out about something.

"Why don't you want to pray?" I asked, puzzled.

"Because I keep asking for the same thing but I never get it. I think God may get mad at me for asking for the same thing over and over."

"What are you asking for?"

I'm thinking, I'll bet it's a puppy. Oh Lord, how am I going to get out of this?

"I want God to come and bring His Kingdom on Earth and get rid of all the sin and make everyone perfect. Right now."

Blown. Away.

Now this kid is a prayer warrior. She has prayed some mighty prayers that I have seen God choose to answer. So, I'm kind of refraining from saying what I want to say, which is - "Do you know what you're praying for?? Ever heard of the Apocalypse?! Quit it!"

But instead, the Holy Spirit moves me to encourage her. To praise her persistence and to acknowledge that God has placed a strong desire in her to pray for this huge thing. He has promised us that it's going to happen. We just don't know when.

So she says, "How is He ever going to do it if He keeps making all these new people who have never heard of Him?"

"Well, honey, I don't know except that He's also making people like you who are going to tell the new people about Him."

A few days later, Big Sister expresses the same sentiment - she too is ready for the Kingdom to come and for everything to be made perfect. Wow, this is really a "thing" for these kids, the desire, the longing, for perfection and the absence of sin. I guess, as a jaded adult, I long ago made peace with the fact that life is far from perfect. Apparently, at some point, I gave up hope that it ever would be or could be. We call that being a "realist," no?

At the time, I was reading a book called "The Prayer Experiment" by Margaret Therkelson. She breaks down the Lord's Prayer, and I happened to be reading the part - Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth as it is in Heaven.
The author touches on two things that I was eager to share with Little Sis. First, the Kingdom is already here! It's inside us, according to Christ. Second, the Kingdom comes through our prayers.

...the heart yearning prayers of the Holy Spirit welling up in our times of prayer...a longing so overwhelming, so passionately powerful, so wistfully crying out for God's Kingdom to come to this broken world. Truly the entire creation is in pain even as we groan within ourselves for Jesus to come and set up His Kingdom here. At times in prayer we are nearly overcome with yearning for Jesus to come! These inexpressible, but powerful prayers are a means of praying in the Kingdom.

Wow. So by their wistful, longing prayers, they are actually praying in th Kingdom. My kids. MY kids. I'm gonna have to take a minute.

Where is He?

It was my desire, when I became a mother, that God should be part of my children's daily lives and conversations. I had no idea how to accomplish that really, as He was still not part of my own daily life and conversations.

One thing I used to do with Big Sister was take her to the window in the mornings after lifting her from her crib. I would open the blinds and say, "Look at the beautiful day God has made for us." One time, she began to peer out into the yard. She said, "Wheah is he? I not see him out dere." I pointed to her little chest and said, "He's in your heart." At which point, my very literal child pulled her shirt out and looked down. "Wheah?"

Of course, we have the usual suspects when we're trying to incorporate faith into our daily lives. Going to Sunday School (one hour out of 168). The prayer at mealtimes (often neglected). The prayer at bedtimes (often rote).

I think for little guys, it seems to work best if you yourself are constantly on the lookout for God in the details. They are discovering the world around them - point out how wonderfully God made that puppy they love or the creek they are splashing in. When they're hurt, pray out loud that God will heal them and take away the pain. If it's their feelings that are hurt, pray for the Holy Spirit to comfort them. As mine have gotten older, I've often been slapped in the face with a problem that I've looked at every which way and still cannot solve. Then I hear a little voice saying, "Mom, let's just pray about it." Duh, why didn't I think of that??

I can be reticient about praying with them for their little hurts and needs. I sometimes think, What if it doesn't work out? What if God doesn't answer, and it shakes their faith? I am learning to leave that entirely up to God...He knows better what they need and how they need to receive it. He's made promises to us, and as I meditate on them (sometimes clinging to them for dear life), He reminds me that He always keeps His promises, not  just to me but to them as well. He also shows me what He's made of when I'm allowed to witness answers to their sweet prayers. I've seen pain lessened, ouchies healed, feelings soothed and Comfort dispensed.

These are the ordinary miracles of being a mother.

What are some ways you see God in the details of your child's life? How do you invite Him into your daily lives?

Comments are always welcome!

The Time I Took Away Her Bible

Sometimes school is a hard place to be. Our kids can be mean to each other - no surprise to any mother who was once a kid herself. They are also highly invested in justice, which makes it tough to navigate the waters sometimes. You want to advise them to just stay out of things, but then again, you admire their chutzpah.

Little Sister is a compassionate little kid. Don't know where she got it. She was just made that way. In first grade, her teacher once contacted me to tell us they had run tornado drills in class, the ones where they're taught to crawl under their desks and cover their heads. Afterward, Little Sister had a question. "Where will you be, Teacher? How are you going to stay safe from the tornado?" Teacher said she'd never been asked that question before.

Since she could speak, Little Sister has inspected all of us for cuts, scrapes, bruises or bandaids. If she found any, she'd pat us and say, "Awwwww." She is also the one in our house who comforts anyone who is crying, including me, and she often tells us how lucky she is to be in our family.  Pretty cool for 7. She also has a temper like a house of fire, but that's a story for another day.

So, back to the shark-infested waters of elementary school. One morning, she seemed particularly disturbed about something that was going on. She surreptitiously snagged Big Sister's Bible, of which Little Sister has pretty much taken over the payments, and slipped it into her backpack. For some reason, I was seized by the need to take it out. The bus was feeling dangerous, somehow. I could just see someone picking on her over whipping out her Bible to deal with whatever reprobate was not acting right, in her oh-so-humble opinion. Those words mean so much to her. It made me a little sick to think of anyone criticizing her faith. She argued, but in the end, I "won." I felt bad about it all day. 

Later, we were on our way to the grocery store. Little Sister was happily reading her Bible in the backseat. When I opened the door to let her out of the van, she looked at me with a little twinkle in her eye. "Mom, look at the cover," she said. "It says 'Backpack Bible.' It wants to be in my backpack."

I've never taken it out again.

How do you encourage your child to take his problems to God? Do you need encouragement yourself?

Comments are always welcome.

Follow the Leader

As I prepared to go to Kenya on a mission trip last summer, our team met one last time to pack. It was summer in Atlanta. The air outside was sticky and heavy, and we wore shorts and flip flops. The seasons are opposite in Kenya, and it was hard to believe that in a few days we'd happily be distributing fleece hoodies and thick cardigan sweaters to our African kids.

One of our team leaders ticked off a list of things we should remember to pack. She said to write a short testimony and be prepared to give it in front of a Kenyan church if asked. Okaaayyy. Public speaking. Talking about my faith. Out loud. In front of other people. In front of the church. Suddenly, my mouth was dry and my mind locked in on a brand new reason to freak out about the trip.

You would think I'd have anticipated that I'd be talking about my faith, seeing as how I was going on a MISSION TRIP and all. But I see myself as a behind-the-scenes kind of girl, hugging children and making cute Bible crafts. Preachers stand up in front of churches and give their testimony. Not I. 

So, dutifully I went home and began pondering the question: What was my testimony?

What God brought to mind was a little girl with silky brown curls, nearing her third birthday. Before laying down for a nap or for bedtime, she is allowed to bring her mama three books to read. Typically, the books are Goodnight Moon, The Big Red Barn and a selection from the incomparable Dr. Suess. Lately though, the white illustrated children's Bible has made its way into the rotation. In fact, some days, it is the only book the little girl wants to read. She always says, "Just one more story, Mommy." This makes the mama happy, as she is committed to raising her daughter in a Christian home. One day, Mama reads the story of Balaam and the talking donkey, and it dawns on her that she has never before heard this one. In fact, there are many stories in the little white Bible that she doesn't know. She also doesn't know the answers to many of the little one's questions, which are being formed more and more articulately and with greater frequency. This makes the mama sad and more than a little ashamed. Yep, that mama is me.

I was raised in a Christian home, married in the Catholic church, baptized, confirmed - I had all the trappings of Christianity - but even so, I didn't know the Bible very well, and although I didn't realize it at the time, I didn't know Christ very well either. Because I wanted Him to be very real to my daughter, because I was desperate to protect her from the evil in the world, I knew I needed to learn more so that I could be her teacher. So that I would be "qualified" to guide her to faith. Soon after, I committed to an in-depth, yearlong Bible study, which was followed by two more just like it. I went into it saying in my private, doubtful heart that I would just approach the study as if I were getting my Ph.D. in Bible. I wouldn't commit to believing one way or another until I acquired all the book knowledge that I thought I needed to lead my child. But, as perhaps often happens, something dramatic took place in the midst of my unbelief and skepticism. I met Jesus.

I am still meeting him -- daily, hourly and minute by minute. I'm so far from where I want to be. I will never be qualified enough to lead my daughters to Christ, but what He shows me is that they are well qualified to lead me.

Jesus said, if we don't approach faith like a little child, we will never see the Kingdom of God.

This is our journey.